AIRCRAFT Questions

Some Question to these people who are eager to get down....

1. Where are you going?

2. Do you not yet realize that we are going to the same place?

3. And that the door is shut?

4. And that since the door is shut, you standing does nothing but crowd the aisle?

5. And that flight attendants secretly rub boogers on your carry-ons if they see you standing? (I don’t really know if they do this, but they should!)

6. Why don’t you just take a minute and relax?

7. Do you maybe have texts that you can check instead of standing?

8. A tweet you can send? (“Just landed! And still sitting!”)

9. When did you decide to become a fascist?

10. Are you cousins with the people who clap when landing, and how shitty is the potato salad at your triflin’ family reunions?